WHAT A DIFFERENCE THIRTY YEARS MAKES!!

1970: Long Hair. 2000: Longing for hair.

1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high-yield mutual fund.

1970: Keg. 2000: EKG.

1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux.

1970: Moving to California because it's cool. 2000: Moving to California because it's warm.

1970: Growing pot. 2000: Growing pot-belly.

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. 2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

1970: Seeds and stems. 2000: Roughage.

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints. 2000: Popping joints.

1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel. 2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

1970: Paar. 2000: AARP.

1970: Killer weed. 2000: Weed killer.

1970: Hoping for a BMW. 2000: Hoping for a BM.

1970: The Grateful Dead. 2000: Dr. Kevorkian.

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint. 2000: Getting a new hip-joint.

1970: Rolling Stones. 2000: Kidney stones.

1970: Being called into the principal's office. 2000: Calling the principal's office.

1970: Screw the System! 2000: Upgrade the system.

1970: Peace sign. 2000: Mercedes logo.

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut. 2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

1970: Take acid. 2000: Take antacid.

1970: Passing the driver's test. 2000: Passing the vision test.

1970: "Whatever" 2000: "Depends"